Friday, October 14, 2005

In Dr K.'s office again

There was another check up.
I was back in the tiny room with the two doors.
“As they’ve stuck you here,” said Dr K, “I’ll give you an ultrasound for free.” He did it fast, a smearing of jelly and the screen was just speckles and clouds. He paused for a moment, gazing at the screen, and I jumped forward wanting to find the flashing light again, but that meant his paddle slipped so he lost his picture. He laughed a bit at that. He turned on the sound and you could hear a rapid drum beat.
He looked proud.
“Women like to hear that,” he said, and I smiled because I did like it, but also I was conscious that I was a woman, liking to hear that. He switched off the sound. He hit print and there was a photo of smudges, and I couldn’t find a baby anywhere, but at least I’d heard the drum beat.
I was wishing Colin had been in the room to hear it too. It was so fast though, the drum beat. The baby seemed very anxious to me.


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