Tuesday, May 11, 2010

11. Listen, tomorrow I'm going to write about a dead bird on a wire, but today I just wanted to say this.

Well, it’s all great and there are days that start with a knock on the door, and it’s the glass prism I ordered, along with the glow-in-the-dark stars. I plan to make rainbows with this prism, and put stars all over my child’s walls, and this, it has always seemed to me, is exactly what it is to be a parent.

An autumn theme at his music class — they had to be trees, and fluttering leaves, also falling leaves, and stamping through leaves, and throwing leaves in the air — the children restless as leaves themselves, flying across the room to their mothers, or all of them suddenly thirsty at once, or wandering across to the jingle sticks and tone boxes, the teacher patiently sweeping them back into the circle.

Back home, the prism won’t make rainbows, only a pointless square of white. He keeps asking why I’m putting those stars on his walls. Cherry tomatoes spill onto the floor, and when I turn around he has stamped on each for the pleasure of the splat. Baking a cake for a visitor, and now there’s cocoa and cracked egg on the couch. The mixture’s done, just one thing left, ‘We need to add some water,’ I say, turning back with a quarter of a cup. But the two litre jug of drinking water was right there at his fingertips - and he’s pointing to the mix with quiet pride.

I baked the cake anyway. The visitor ate a piece. She said, 'It's all right. It's fine!' which was not what I had planned for her to say.

He’s supposed to be asleep now but he’s calling out, ‘I’m just eating my foot, okay?’ and ‘Can you take these stars off my walls?’

5 Comments:

Anonymous Amy Nutmeg said...

Charlie is a riot :)
Poor you, though, after all your effort and dreams of perfect parenting!

I enjoyed the cake part - hilarity!

10:01 PM  
Blogger Elise said...

I think sometimes the universe just enjoys being contrary. But I find that usually when you have these days where nothing goes to plan (as if someone is trying to prove something), a counteractive day will come along later that you expect to be impossible but turns out rather well. Perhaps that is a consolation for cocoa on the couch.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Iris said...

I'm so surprised to find out you're writing blogs again! I know that might sound quite negative, but I really thought you would quit doing it after your book was published and everything. So right now I'm just really happy to read all of it, they're really nice and how great Charlie is! I'm looking forward to your next blog.


By the way, I finally got to buy your new book, it still has to be delivered, but i really can't wait to read it!

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's something you can hold over his head when he's older ;)

If you really want to make rainbows, you should buy bottles of coloured glass and stand then next to the window!

3:02 PM  
Blogger miss ali said...

more than anything, I just wanted to praise your blog title. I love to read things that make me unexpectedly burst out laughing. its my favourite kind of laughter. i read it and thought- 'now THATS a title!'
cheers!

3:05 PM  

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